Surely you’ve heard jokes that start with “if” and end with “you might be a redneck.”
Jeff Foxworthy
As you read through the best 25 “You Might Be A Redneck” jokes, you’ll enjoy them more if you imagine them being said in Foxworthy’s characteristic slow drawl.
- 1. If your mother has “ammo” on her Christmas list . . . you might be a redneck.”
2. If the blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it . . . you might be a redneck.”
3. If directions to your house include “Turn off the paved road” . . . you might be a redneck.”
4. If you ever got stopped by a state trooper and when you were asked if if you had an I.D. and you said, ‘Bout What? . . . you might be a redneck.”
5. If you’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws . . . you might be a redneck.”
6. If you think TACO BELL is the Mexican Phone Company . . . you might be a redneck.”
7. If when you see a sign that says “Say No To Crack,” it reminds you to pull your jeans up . . . you might be a redneck.”
8. If you’ve ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister’s honor . . . you might be a redneck.”
9. If your family business requires a lookout . . . you might be a redneck.”
10. If anyone in your family died right after saying, “Hey, y’all watch this!” . . . you might be a redneck.”
11. If you stare at an orange juice container because it says “CONCENTRATE” . . . you might be a redneck.”
12. If you refer to the time you won a free case of motor oil as “The day my ship came in” . . . you might be a redneck.”
13. If you can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head . . . you might be a redneck.”
14. If you can’t get married to yer sweetheart ’cause there is a law against it . . . you might be a redneck.”
15. If you refer to the fifth grade as your “senior year” . . . you might be a redneck.”
16. If on your first date you had to ask your Dad to borrow the keys to the tractor . . . you might be a redneck.”
17. If 5th grade was the best six years of your life . . . you might be a redneck.”
18. If your grandfather died and left everything to his widow but she can’t touch it until she’s fourteen . . . you might be a redneck.”
19. If your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive . . . you might be a redneck.”
20. If your father executes the “pull my finger” trick during Christmas dinner . . . you might be a redneck.”
21. If you think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader . . . you might be a redneck.”
22. If you wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean . . . you might be a redneck.”
23. If you throw a beer can out the truck window and your wife shoots it . . . you might be a redneck.”
24. If your pocketknife has ever been referred to as “Exhibit A” . . . you might be a redneck.”
25. If you think taking a bubble bath starts with eating beans for dinner . . . you might be a redneck.”
{ 0 comments }