The 25 Best “What Do You Call” Jokes!

by Phil Santa Maria

What Do You Call JokesYou know those jokes that start “What do you call . . .” and usually end with a groan.

Well, I have scoured the universe and discovered the 25 best “What Do You Call . . .” jokes in the whole world.

So, without further ado, I give you the answer to the question “What do you call a really lame idea for a blog post?”

  1. What do you call a cow that’s just had a baby?
    Decalfinated.

  2. What do you call an exploding ape?
    A baboom.

  3. What do you call a snake who is employed by the government?
    A civil serpent.

  4. What do you call a hippy’s wife?
    Mississippi.

  5. What do you call bears without ears?
    B.

  6. What do you call the shortest distance between 2 jokes?
    A straight line.

  7. What do you call a blind dinosaur?
    A Doyouthinkhesawus.

  8. What do you call a parrot when it has dried itself after taking a bath?
    Polly unsaturated.

  9. What do you call a cat who ate a duck?
    A duck-filled-fatty-puss.

  10. What do you call a cat that tells jokes?
    A witty kitty.

  11. What do you call a person who draws amusing pictures of motor vehicles?
    A car-toonist.

  12. What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
    An alarm cluck.

  13. What do you call a lady magician?
    Trixie.

  14. What do you call a crazy spaceman?
    An astronut.

  15. What do you call a cow with no legs?
    Ground beef.

  16. What do you call a veterinary surgeon with laryngitis?
    A hoarse doctor.

  17. What do you call a snake that becomes a Canadian law officer?
    Mountie Python.

  18. What do you call a rabbit who is really cool?
    A hip hopper.

  19. What do you call a butterfingered nurse?
    A medicine dropper.

  20. What do you call a fake noodle?
    An Impasta.

  21. What do you call the best butter on the farm?
    A goat.

  22. What do you call a song sung in a car?
    A car-tune.

  23. What do you call something lying at the bottom of the ocean and twitching?
    A nervous wreck.

  24. What do you call two guys from Mexico playing basketball?
    Juan on Juan.

  25. What do you call a camel with no humps?
    Humphrey.

If these haven’t worn you out, be sure to check out my list of the 25 Best Puns Of All Time! And take a look at The Top 25 “What Do You Get . . .” Jokes!

{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }

thatgirl July 26, 2012 at 8:05 pm

The one about the mexiacan playing basket ball cracked me up!

Reply

trent October 22, 2012 at 7:26 am

what do you call a man who lives in a mail box…

bill

Reply

Funny October 24, 2012 at 6:00 pm

How do you call an alligator in a vest? An in-vest-i-gator.

Reply

Firedtso June 10, 2013 at 2:27 am

What do you call a dog with no legs? It does not matter what you call him he can not come!

Reply

Graeme at Overcomeyourenglish November 25, 2012 at 6:32 am

You for got about………..”What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?”………….”A stick!”. LOL

Reply

James Thomas November 28, 2012 at 7:00 pm

Ah hah…got you all beat….what do you call 4 mexicans in quick sand—-quattro sink

Reply

Firedtso June 10, 2013 at 2:25 am

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that falls in a hole? Phil

Reply

KS January 24, 2013 at 5:51 pm

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of a lake? Bob.

Reply

andy January 25, 2013 at 2:34 pm

What u do u call a man with three eyes? Seemore

Reply

Noble March 10, 2013 at 3:28 pm

What do you call a girl with a branch in her eye?

Treecie (Tree-see)

Reply

Am March 13, 2013 at 2:30 am

What do you call a one legged woman?

Ayleen.

Reply

noemi March 21, 2013 at 4:02 am

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
A lickolotapus!

Reply

Daniel Jay S March 21, 2013 at 9:53 pm

What did the fish say when he hit a cement wall?
DAM!!!!

Reply

bob March 27, 2013 at 4:38 pm

what do you call a gay dinosaur? megasoreanus.

Reply

bob March 27, 2013 at 4:41 pm

what do you call a guy with no arms or legs when you….. throw him over a fence? homer. on the front porch? matt. hanging on the wall? art. tied behind a boat? skip.

Reply

thom June 20, 2014 at 1:33 pm

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pot? Stu
” ” in the yard with leaves? Rustle
” ” in front of a door? Matt
” ” on a wall? Art

Reply

thom June 20, 2014 at 1:38 pm

What do you call a one legged women? EILEEN
What does a one legged Asian, in the same predicament call herself? IRENE

Reply

Horses55 July 7, 2014 at 5:10 pm

Why do anteaters never get sick???
Because they have a lot of anty-bodies!

Reply

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