Tag Archives: have fun

How To Be Irresistible To Women

genie in a bottleThis blog is about how to live a long life full of energy, fun and all the other good stuff we all want.

There are several recurring themes here, things that are absolutely essential to living a “forever young” life. Like . .

Eat right.

Exercise.

And, of course, laugh.

Laugh loudly and often.

Here’s today’s contribution to the cause . . .

A man was walking on the beach one day when he found a lamp half buried in the sand.

He picked up the lamp, rubbed it and a genie appeared. The genie said,” I will grant you three wishes and three wishes only.”

The man thought about his first wish and decided, “I think I want 1 million dollars transferred to a Swiss bank account.” And . . .

POOF! It was done.

Next he wished for a candy apple red Ferrari, and . . .

POOF! There was the car sitting in front of him.

For his final wish he said, “I wish I was irresistible to women.” And . . .

POOF! He turned into a box of chocolates.

How ’bout you, got any genie or 3-wish jokes? If so, put them in the comments so we all can enjoy them.

Travel To Shanghai, China

Travel is a great way to have fun and learn.

(Geez, that’s not exactly the type of powerful, original, cutting-edge thinking regular readers have come to expect. If I can’t do better than that, I’ll have to rename this blog lame.com!)

Why not start your travels to foreign cities with Shanghai, the most populous city proper (not counting suburbs) in the world, with mo’ than 23 million residents. As you’ll quickly see, Shanghai has a lot more going for it than sheer numbers. Just click and enjoy my slideshow.

Shanghai is electric! (Obvious pun intended).

The first photos are of the Bund, a waterfront area in central Shanghai which runs along the western bank of the Huangpu River. To get an appreciation for the Bund at night, think Disney World meets Las Vegas.

The next photos are from Nanjing Road, the main shopping street of Shanghai and one of the world’s busiest shopping streets. For this, think Fifth Avenue in New York.

The next pictures are from the Yu Gardens (formally, Yuyuan Garden) area of Shanghai. Located in the center of the Old City of Shanghai, it is a can’t-miss stop for tourists.

Finally, there is a series of photos taken at the Shanghai Museum of Art and History, an amazing place that tracks 5,000 years of Chinese history.

High School Reunion Tips: 8 Dos And Don’ts For Your Next Reunion

So, your high school reunion is coming up. Damn, that 5 years went fast!

High School Reunion Dos And Don'ts(If you think the last 5 years went fast, I’ve got some bad news for you: It only gets worse. Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes!)

I know that high school reunions can provoke anxiety, insecurity and maybe even the occasional nightmare.

But go anyway.

And go expecting to have a good time because whether you think you will have a good time or a bad time, you’re right.

Go to renew old friendships, recall your youth, feel young again and celebrate how you and your old friends have changed.

But, here’s the secret for having a good reunion experience: go with a general intent to have fun, but keep your specific expectations low.

To help, I’ve come up with some tips in the form of 8 dos and don’ts for your next high school reunion.

High School Reunion TipsDON’T expect everyone to remember you. In fact, to be safe, don’t expect anyone to remember you. Maybe you’re wearing 40 pounds of camouflage or your face is unrecognizable because you have so much more forehead. It doesn’t matter. As you’ll soon find out, everyone is in the same situation. Sooner or later, we all look like the before picture in a plastic surgery ad.

DON’T expect to remember everyone (for the same reasons). Even if you prepare by going through your high school yearbook, there will still be people you don’t recognize. That’s what name tags are for. And here’s another tip. If anyone that you don’t recognize even glances at you, before they can say anything, rush up to them and introduce yourself. The natural instinct is for the other person to respond by stating their name. Problem solved.

DON’T bore everyone with your resume. When people ask you what you’ve been up to, they really don’t want an answer. It’s just an awkward conversation starter. And, besides, because you found the reunion without getting lost, they already know that you’ve accomplished more than they expected.

DON’T expect the dicks to have changed. Most of us change and grow up. But some dicks don’t. Just avoid them. Oh, if you don’t know who the high school dick was, here’s what you do. Look around the room. If you don’t see a dick, it’s you.

DO talk to anyone who will talk to you (except the dicks, of course). Even if you weren’t friends in high school, you could have a lot in common now and you could leave the reunion with some great “new” friends.

High School Reunion TipsDO allow yourself to be swept away by the music of your high school years . . . unless, of course, you were in high school during the unforgivable disco era. That, you want to forget.

DO be yourself. They accepted you during your Urkel-like years — at least some of them — and they will now. You don’t have to cover up your receding hairline with some ridiculous comb-over. And this applies to the men, too.

DO have fun. Why not? You’re there, you’re dressed up and you can’t get your money back. Reminisce with old friends. Even if you haven’t spoken in years, or even if you weren’t close friends back in the day, you have a lot in common. You shared what was one of the best, or worst, times of your life. If high school was agony for you, your few high school friends made it bearable. If high school was the best time of your life, your friends were probably the reason why it was so good. Either way, be sure to thank them.

Best Puns Of All Time!

Best Puns Of All TimeHere they are. The best 25 puns of all time!

Who says so? Well, just me so far but I’m sure many readers will agree with me.

First, though, we have to get something straight. No puns, even the very best, produce raucous laughter. That’s impossible. What we’re shooting for here is a smile, a groan or perhaps a “that’s cute.”

Without further ado, I give you the top 25 26 puns in the whole world ever.

    1. The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    Not bad so far, huh?

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

    6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart

    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    Kinda going downhill, aren’t they?

    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

    13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

    15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    17. A backward poet writes inverse.

    18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

    19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

    20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you’d be in Seine .

    21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’

    22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’

    23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.

    24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’

    25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

    Now for the big finish . . .

    26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

Oh, yea. Well, if you think you can do better, take it to the comment section.

If you liked these, you will love More Best Puns Of All Time!

Think You Know Your 1960’s Rock And Roll Groups, Huh?

Simon & Garfunkle
Simon & Garfunkle
So, you think you know your 1960’s rock and roll groups.

What if I limit it to groups that have either “and” or “and the” in their name? Still an expert?

Prove it!

Take this quiz I created. Just fill in the blanks to complete the names of the groups.

When you click on the answer link, you will be taken to a website that tells you the group’s name. All of the websites that I have linked to will give you basic information about the group. However, some will also tell you more including such things as the group’s hits and, even, whether they are still performing. A few of the sites even have the group’s music playing.

The first 10 are easy. They’re just to get you warmed up. The next 18 are a little harder. And the last 10 are where you can really show your chops . . .

Easy-Peasy

  • Gladys Knight and the __________. Answer.
  • __________ and the Supremes. Answer.
  • Sonny and __________. Answer.
  • __________ and the Belmonts. Answer.
  • Smokey Robinson and the __________. Answer.
  • __________ and the Vandellas. Answer.
  • The __________ and the Papas. Answer.
  • __________ and Garfunkel. Answer.
  • Patti LaBelle and the __________. Answer.
  • Bill Haley & the/his __________. Answer.

These are a little harder

  • __________ and the Playboys. Answer.
  • Booker T. and the __________. Answer.
  • __________ and the Pacemakers. Answer.
  • __________ and Dave. Answer.
  • Sly and the __________. Answer.
  • Sam The __________ and the __________. Answer.
  • Tommy James and the __________. Answer.
  • __________ and Dean. Answer.
  • Junior Walker and the __________. Answer.
  • Ruby and the __________. Answer.
  • __________ and the Raiders. Answer.
  • Mitch Ryder and the __________. Answer.
  • Archie Bell and the __________. Answer.
  • Little Anthony and the __________. Answer.
  • __________ and the Dreamers. Answer.
  • __________ and Jeremy. Answer.
  • Peter and __________. Answer.
  • __________ and the Mysterions. Answer.

Ready? These are the hardest

  • Big Brother and the __________. Answer.
  • Frank Zappa and the __________. Answer.
  • Garnet Mimms and the __________. Answer.
  • __________ and the Starliters. Answer.
  • __________ and the Fish. Answer.
  • Maurice Williams and the __________. Answer.
  • Cannibal and the __________. Answer.
  • __________ and the Tabulations. Answer.
  • Wayne Fontana and the __________. Answer.
  • Frankie Lymon and the __________. Answer.

How’d you do? Are you the expert you thought on the subject of 1960’s rock and roll groups with “and” or “and the” in their names?

Out of 38, I think any score of at least 30 is fantastic. Put your score in the comments below.

Hilarious Facebook Status Updates

Hilarious Facebook Status Updates
Hilarious Facebook Status Updates

These are actual Facebook status updates. The names have been changed to protect the clever. “Bob” represents a male poster and “Mary” represents a female poster.

  • Bob . . . feels like getting some work done…and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.
  • Mary . . . used to play sports. Then she realized you can buy trophies. Now she’s good at everything.
  • Bob . . . is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while…
  • Mary . . . dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.
  • Bob . . . says my computer just beat me at chess…but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
  • Mary . . . is cle’a]ni.ng he’r ke]yb29oa;rd.
  • Mary . . . is proud of herself. She finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
  • Bob . . . doesn’t suffer from insanity… he enjoys every minute of it.
  • Bob . . . is wondering where Noah kept woodpeckers on his ark.
  • Mary . . . thinks that if your relationship status says, “It’s complicated” that you should stop kidding yourself and change it to “Single.”
  • Bob . . . Whoever says Paper beats Rock is an idiot. Next time I see someone say that I will throw a rock at them while they hold up a sheet of paper.
  • Mary . . . Be nice to nerds, chances are you will be working for them.
  • Mary . . . is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf’s a minute.
  • Bob . . . just received a coupon in the mail: Buy one sock, get one FREE! While socks last.
  • Mary . . . would rather check her Facebook than face her checkbook.
  • Bob . . . believes that if you tell your boss what you really think of him, the truth will set you free.
  • Mary . . . ¡ ɯıʇ ɯɐs ɥʇ ʇɐ ʞooq ɔɐɟ sn puɐ puɐʇspuɐɥ ɐ op ʎןןɐuıɟ uɐɔ.
  • Bob . . . Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with “according to the prophecy.”
  • Bob . . . People reckon I’m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they’re stupid).
  • Mary . . . Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and your first reaction is to try and scare it with the cursor?
  • Mary . . . It recently became apparent to me that the letters ‘T’ and ‘G’ are far too close together on a keyboard. This is why I’ll never be ending an e-mail with the phrase “Regards” ever again.
  • Mary . . . went to the book store earlier to buy a ‘Where’s Wally’ book. When I got there, I couldn’t find the book anywhere. Well played Wally, well played.
  • Mary . . . What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?… Next week.
  • Bob . . . Hi, my name is Bomimeb. The ‘mime’ is silent.
  • Mary . . . got her test results back this morning and is shocked to find that she’s been diagnosed with OCD. She’s rung the doctors nine times to check if they’re correct.
  • Bob . . . reckons anti-wrinkle cream doesn’t work. If it did, women wouldn’t have any fingerprints.
  • Bob . . . Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
  • Mary . . . People who live in stone houses shouldn’t throw glasses.
  • Bob . . . Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
  • Mary . . . Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions.
  • Bob . . . I hear there is scientific proof that birthdays are good for you… the more you have the longer you live.
  • Mary . . . I just read a list of ‘the 100 things to do before you die’. I’m pretty surprised ‘yell for help’ wasn’t one of them…
  • Bob . . . I’ve always wondered if film directors wake up screaming “CUT! CUT! CUUUUUT!” when they have nightmares.
  • Mary . . . TEIAM – problem solved
  • Bob . . . never questions authority, he annoys authority. More effect, less effort.
  • Bob . . .  scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.
  • Mary . . . Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn’t surprising really, since it isn’t my birthday.
  • Bob . . . ”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
  • Bob . . . Note to vegetarians: My food poops on your food. Enjoy that salad!
  • Mary . . . Just realized the tooth fairy teaches us to sell our body parts for money!
  • Bob . . . Why isn’t the number 11 pronounced onety one?
  • Mary . . . I just read last year 4,153,237 ppl got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?
  • Bob . . . Don’t you just hate it when people say stuff in their status that you really didn’t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop.
  • Mary . . . 43% of all statistics are made up on the spot. Hell, 72% of people know that!
  • Bob . . . Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.
  • Mary . . . status under construction ██████████████] 99%.
  • Bob . . . Always give 100% at work: 12% Monday, 23% Tuesday, 40% Wednesday, 20% Thursday, 5% Friday.
  • Bob . . . believes that the problem with being punctual is that there is rarely anyone there to appreciate it.
  • Mary . . . I will find out why the correspondence course on “Mail Fraud” that I purchased never showed up.
  • Bob . . . You know your job is shit when the parking meter outside where you work makes more per hour than you do.
  • Mary . . . I hated it when old aunts came up to me after weddings and said “you are next”. They stopped that when I did began to do the same to them after funerals.
  • Bob . . . I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  • Mary . . . Invented Al Gore.
  • Bob . . . ¿ ʍ ɹɐ p u ןןɐɥɔ- ן oo ˙˙˙ʇx ʇ uʍop pısdn ʎq ɹɐ ןdo d p ss ɹdɯı ʍoɥ ʎuunɟ s,ʇı sʞuıɥʇ.
  • Mary . . . Just bought a new wardrobe from focus, looked at the box and was surprised to find it said ” Self Assembly “….. I’ve been sitting here now for three fu*k*ng hours and yet it still hasn’t put itself together.
  • Bob . . . Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.
  • Mary . . . ʎɐq uo pɹɐoqʎ ʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ɯıʇ ʇsɐן ɥʇ sı sıɥʇ.
  • Mary . . . a clean house is the sign of a broken computer.
  • Bob . . . Bought a new stick of deodorant today. Instructions said: “Remove cap and push up bottom” … I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
  • Mary. . . Is beating her current record for number of consecutive days alive.
  • Bob . . . Just changed the name of my iPod to “the titanic” so whenever i plug it in to my computer it says “the titanic is syncing.”
  • Mary . . . Don’t you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
  • Bob . . . Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.”

These were culled from this Hubpages article.

For A Few Yuks, Consider These 10 Questions

Humor
Humor

You know I recommend looking for humor and laughing often. I hope you enjoy these humorous questions . . .

1. What do people in China call their good plates?

2. What does a mummy do to unwind?

3. What does cheese say when it has its picture taken?

4. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

5. If golf had never been invented, how would they measure hail?

6. When a Chinese child sits at the piano, does he play ”Forks & Spoons?”

7. When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time to set it to?

8. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

9. Was Robin Hood’s mother known as Mother Hood?

10. Whose cruel idea was it to put an “s” in the word lisp and to put 3 “t’s” in the word stutter?

9 Tips That Will Guarantee Great Photos

Photography
Photography

(One of the things I do to have fun and stay positive is make photographs. For readers who share my interest, I will occasionally write articles about photography. I hope you enjoy this one.)

Why do I love photography?

Because it’s a way that a person like me — who has zippo artistic talent and can’t draw a straight line with a ruler — can be artistic .

It’s also a great way to preserve moments that will never be repeated.

Using just a few simple techniques, you can produce photos that will wow your friends and family.

I’ll get you started with these 9 tips (everyone does lists of 10, so we’ll be different) that will make your photos sparkle . . .

1. Move In Close

Move in close (or zoom in close) so that your picture is filled with the subject. You don’t want to have to explain that the little dot in the center is Aunt Harriet.

2. Watch The Background

Make sure there are no trees growing out of your son’s head or that there’s no background clutter that distracts from your subject. A simple background is best. To accomplish this, move yourself or your subjects around if you have to.

3. Frame Your Pictures With Foreground Items

For example, a picture of a house will be much more interesting if you make the photo with a tree in the foreground, using the trunk and the overhanging branches of the tree to “frame” the house. This directs interest to the subject of your photo.

4. Don’t Put The Subject In The Center Of The Photo

Imagine that there is a tic-tac-toe grid in your viewfinder. Then, put your subject at one of the 4 points where lines intersect.

5. Don’t Always Shoot From The Standing position

Get down low to shoot things low to the ground — like small children — or to get a different viewpoint. Alternatively, get up high. Shooting from a high point can be stunning.

6. Don’t Always Shoot With Your Camera In The Horizontal Position

Turn your camera on its end and make pictures with a vertical format. In other words, make some of your pictures higher and narrower than the usual horizontal pictures. With a little practice, you’ll recognize which subjects scream out for this approach.

7. Be Aware Of The Lighting

When shooting outside, the lighting in the early morning and the late afternoon is much “warmer” and more flattering that the harsh midday lighting.

8. Use Your Flash Outdoors

When your subject is a back-lighted person — that is, when the sun is behind your subject — use your flash. The flash will fill in light on the face, which would otherwise be a shadow, and your portrait will come alive.

9. Once You’ve Mastered These Rules, Don’t Be Afraid To Break Them To Be Creative!

Pick unusual subjects, angles and lighting conditions. This is the real fun of photography for me.